Solaris Light
Healing and Publishing for a new Millennium
Solaris Light is a registered name given to Creation Energy
All selections within this site are under 1995-2005 Copyright to Richard Leach

Love Systems Inc.
Technical Support Department
283 Lovers Lane
Beverly Hills, California, USA
90210

Dear Sirs,
I am desperately seeking technical support. I'm was running the latest version of Girlfriend and having some problems. I had been running the same version of DrinkingBuddies 1.0 all along as my primary application, and all the Girlfriend releases have always conflicted with it. I hear the DrinkingBuddies won't crash if you run Girlfriend in background mode with the sound switched off. But I'm embarrassed to say that I can't find the switch to turn it off. I just ran them separately, and it worked okay for a while.

Girlfriend also seems to have a problem coexisting with my Golf program, often trying to abort my Golf program with some sort of timing incompatibility. I probably should have stayed with Girlfriend 1.0, but I thought I might see better performance with Girlfriend 2.0. After months of conflicts and other problems, I consulted a friend who has had experience with Girlfriend 2.0. He said that I probably didn't have enough cache to run Girlfriend 2.0 and that eventually it would require a Token Ring for it to run properly. He was right - as soon as I purged my cache, it uninstalled itself. Shortly after that, I installed Girlfriend 3.0 beta. All the bugs were supposed to be gone, but the first time I used it, it gave me a virus. I had to clean out my whole system and shut down for a while. When you finally released the debugged version as Girlfriend 4.0, I very cautiously upgraded. This time I used a SCSI probe first and also installed virus protection. It worked OK for a while until I discovered Girlfriend 1.0 was still in my system! I tried to run Girlfriend 1.0 again with Girlfriend 4.0 still installed, but Girlfriend 4.0 has a feature that I didn't know about that automatically senses the presence of Girlfriend 1.0 and communicates with it in some way, which results in the immediate removal of both versions!

The Girlfriend 5.0 version I ended up with worked pretty well, but there were still some problems. Like all versions of Girlfriend, it is written in some obscure language that I can't understand much less re-program. Frankly, I think there is far too much attention paid to the "look and feel" in designing these programs and not enough to the "desired functionality." Also, to get the best connections with your hardware, you usually have to use gold plated contacts. And I've never liked how Girlfriend is so totally "object-oriented."

A friend of mine who understands these technical differences recommended that I upgrade to your freeware version called GirlfriendPlus 1.0, which is a less demanding Terminate and Stay Resident version of Girlfriend. I did this and for a time I was very happy but then I discovered that GirlfriendPlus 1.0 expires within a year if you don't buy the upgrade to Fiancée 1.0. I did this but man, I was so unfamiliar with the command set it boggled my mind. And soon after that, I was forced to upgrade to Wife 1.0, which I can only say is a "huge resource hog." It has taken up all my space, so I can't load anything else. One of the primary reasons that I even decided to upgraded to Wife 1.0 is that it came bundled with FreeSexPlus 1.0. I thought that was going to finally be great until I discovered that the resource allocation module of Wife 1.0 sometimes, well actually often, prohibits access to FreeSexPlus, particularly the new Plug and Play items I wanted to try. On top of that, Wife 1.0 must be running on a well warmed-up system before I can do anything. I have realized that you were really serious when the package said, "Read all documentation before installing this software." I certainly never expected that Wife 1.0 came integrated with MotherInLaw 1.0, which has an automatic pop-up feature that, I couldn't turn off. I was so frustrated when nothing seemed to turn out the way I wanted that I downloaded your version of Mistress 2.0 from the Internet. Now that is one cool program but there was no documentation explaining that if I didn't first uninstall Wife, that Wife 1.0 would delete my MSMoney files before automatically uninstalling itself. When everything finally seemed to be settling down I tried to install Mistress 1.0 again and my system crashed. Now it seems like my system freezes every time I try to run Mistress 1.0 and none of the Girlfriend products will reinstall. Now I am really lost and I don't know how to get my system up anymore. Please, please help me with some technical magic.

Patiently,
Ricky Romance

Dear Ricky,
The problems you are having with our companion products is very common but it is indeed a user/operator error. The major user error that has caused your difficulties with each of our products is that you have never stopped to read the detailed installation instructions given in the Readme files. You will find the first instruction given with every program is, "Never run more than one companion product at a time." Likewise, the early conflicts you encountered with your DrinkingBuddies and Golf programs were also noted within these instructions. The way you tried to handle the interface between these programs is an Internet rumour and will surely lead you to a system crash. You will find, on every Companion Program installation diskette there is an advanced communication module called,

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